Don’t Sideline Your Story

Read time: 3.5 minutes

It breaks my heart when writers let their stories die.

Case in point: My dad was a school principal for twenty years, and if you’ve spent any time with a seasoned administrator, you know: They’ve got stories to tell. Unruly uprisings from kids. Raging parents. Over-the-phone threats. Situations you wouldn’t believe until they happened. Beautiful scenes of reconciliation and speaking into kids’ lives.

Now retired, my dad has often said in passing, “I really should write down some of these stories.” I’ve encouraged him to do so, but like most of us, other things have taken precedent.

Sadly, when I recently asked my dad about writing down his harrowing principal experiences, he confessed, “I can’t remember a lot of them now. I should have written them down earlier.”

Don’t let your story die. As Ben Gibbard writes, there’s a “faulty camera in our minds.” Time erases memories like waves eroding the sandy shore.

Why We Stall

Why do we sideline our stories until it’s too late?

For some, it’s the false assumption that “someday” we’ll have more time to write. Others are afraid of being vulnerable or criticized. Some feel they’re story isn’t spectacular enough to captivate readers.

If you’re drawn to an event, journey, or story from your life, don’t put off writing about it. It might feel risky or tedious to write it down, but the real regret will come if you don’t.

Here’s 4 tips for telling your story.

#1 - Don’t overthink it

We all duel with an inner critic who snarls:

• No one will read this.
• Your writing is mediocre.
• Your life isn’t that interesting.
• No one will publish this.

It’s easy to invent negative outcomes, then allow discouragement to derail our writing. Reframe this inner dialogue by acknowledging: My story is worth telling, regardless of who reads it.

Putting your life onto the page does good for the soul. It helps you process, reflect, give thanks, and reckon with regret. On the other side of writing your story is a transformed you, who is better poised to live well and help others.

Become that person.

#2 - Start small

Sometimes writers bite off more than we can chew. Instead of a lofty, time-consuming goal like writing a full-length book, challenge yourself to write out a single story.

It could be one page. Or one chapter. 300 words or 3,000.

Write it out, then share it with a few people who care about you. Ask them for feedback. What stood out to them? What did they learn about you by reading it?

When writing and sharing your words, the reward quickly outweighs the risk.

#3 - Set a self-imposed deadline

For most writers, getting your idea on paper takes less time than you think. You don’t need a whole year. You don’t need five hours a day.

All you need is 30 minutes, or 1 hour, several times a week.

You can likely write a single story in one sitting. Or a chapter in a few days. Accomplished writing coach, Ally Fallon, says that most people can write a whole book in six months.

So “time block” your project. Set a deadline. Instead of perfection, aim for completion. Editing should come on the back end.

#4 - Follow a structure

Structure aids creativity. So, start with an outline, even if you’re telling one simple story. Here’s a basic story structure you can follow:

1. The problem - Every compelling story begins with a problem. What was the challenge you had to overcome?
2. The struggle - How did you face your problem? Describe the conflict, setbacks, and effort.
3. The turning point - When did things shift, either circumstantially or in your thinking, that started to tip things in your favor, or change your outlook?
4. The resolution - How did the problem get solved? How were you transformed in the process?
5. The lesson - What did this experience teach you? What’s the takeaway that will help readers with their struggles?

Your Story Matters

If no one else has told you directly, I’ll say it here, to you: Your story matters.

As one created by God, you are a walking emblem of wonder. Your bruises and triumphs are woven into a greater story about a kingdom that’s breaking into the domain of darkness.

True, you may never publish it, but your friends, kids, and grandkids will cherish your words and learn from your journey. Leave them a literary legacy.

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and the people you love. It’s an act of love.

Don’t sideline your story. Write it down.

I’m rooting for you.